Take a step back

Jo, Hudson, Lucy Tim and I went to the G8 protest rally the other weekend. It was good to be reminding the politicians of their promises.

During the worship event that preceded the march, a guy led a prayer time from the front. He had a good idea, but I don't think he really thought how that good idea might come across (well I hope he hadn't realised). He split the Lord's prayer in to eight sections, and for each of the sections he put up a face of one of the G8 leaders. When he got to, "forgive us ours sins as we forgive those who sin against us" up went President Putins surly face, then for "Deliver us from evil" up pops President Bush. Finally "For yours is the kingdom, the power and the Glory, for ever and ever" our very own Priminster Blair.

Seriously, take a step back.



Sinner, evil one, King. Which ones which?

It's interesting what conclusions you can come to with two cows as an example

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Oyster penalty

My great Brother-in-law and my good self were travelling back from Peckham Rye on the bendy bus yesterday and we were given a good example of why it is not a good idea to try and fare dodge.

Now the bendy busses are the easiest form of public transport to board without paying, as there are three sets of doors and no one to check you have touched in. Well, half way into our journey, some ticket/oyster inspectors got on the bus to do their jobs. All was well until they made it to the back of the bus. A lady had obviously risked it, but was most definetly not prepared to pay the £20 fine. She argued and argued, then another inspector came on to sort out the problem, she argued some more, then the bus was stopped, but she wouldn't get off, she argued again. Then the bus pulled away again, at the next stop the police were parked in the bus stop. She argued some more and still refused to get off the bus. By this time, there were three ticket inspectors, and three police officers involved. She was still arguing, and still refusing to get off the bus. Eventually, everyone else had to get off the bus, and catcht he next one. Sadly, this included a guy in a wheel chair, who was certainly not enjoying all the jostling and bus changing, but sadly had to just put up with it.But if ever there were a good example of why you should pay for your fare, then that was it. Our journey from Peckham to Westminster and hour and 10 minutes. Flippin fare dodgin arguin woman.